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The forest was quiet that day, the usual chirping of birds was replaced by the sound of leaves brushing against each other and the crack of sticks as Willow followed her favourite trail. The clouds hung low on the sky in a promise of rain but she didn't plan on going back to her house any time soon. She had a horrible day at school, her bullies taunted and pranked her more than usual and all because of the dress she wore that day. She didn't understand what she did wrong, it was a nice dress that she liked very much, it made her feel magical and pretty but I guess the goal of Jason Hollis and his group of devoted puppies was to shred any once of confidence Willow worked so hard to maintain. Her mom tried but failed to make her feel better with a kiss on the forehead and reassurance that she looked beautiful but that didn't work so right after dinner she made her way to the woods behind her house. Not a lot of people came to that part of the forest because of the lack of marked hiking trails and Willow liked it that way. When she went out there the goal was to be alone, so she could think of all the things she wanted to say to her bullies but ultimately always decided against it on her way back home. So she walked and walked, recognizing some trees and bird nests along the way not really paying attention to the fact that the dress she wore might have been a little too long to be appropriate hiking attire. It occurred to her only when her skirt got caught on a root and her cheek nearly hit the ground. Pain shot through her palms that she used to break her fall and she groaned. The fall made her feel even worse, so she didn't make a move to get back up, simply lying on the leaves and staring into the sky.
She didn't know how long she spent laying there but a sudden rustle of the bushes startled her into sitting up. Willow looked around but she didn't see an animal or a person nearby but decided to head home anyway. She was about to get up but a shimmering object peaking from underneath the leaves caught her attention so she kneeled near the spot and begun pushing the leaves and stick around. What she found made her surprised but happy at the same time. Taking the object into her hands she examined it curiously, it was a necklace, dirty and a bit muddy but looked to be in good shape. It has a silver chain with an amber pendant, the kind of amber pendant that had something encased inside of it. In this particular case, it was a small and delicate white spider. It was beautiful and Willow immediately decided to take it with her, it was too unique not to wear and if somebody recognized it while she wore it she would return it to the original owner. The walk was a good idea after all.
When she returned home she was in a much better mood, she cleaned the necklace and showed it to her mom who admitted that it was indeed beautiful and helped her put it on. As soon as the chain was clasped around her neck Willow felt strangely safe but brushed the feeling off and decided to take a shower and go to bed.
***
When she woke up the next day Willow had a strange feeling, the one you have when you know you had a dream but you cannot remember what it was about. She tried to remember what it was but then her mom called for her to wake up. It was a Friday so Willow had a little more bounce to her step excited to get the day over with and be free of the hell hole that was her school for two days. She dressed, ate breakfast and hopping onto her bike she rode to school.
The first two periods were okay, English and Art were her two favourite subjects after all but the third period was math that she unfortunately shared with Jason and two of his goons. Her friend Lacy always walked with her to the class as a safety precaution and every day she said the same thing.
?You really should talk to Principal Hayes about this. They've been bullying you for years!? Willow sighed
?You know I talked to him about twenty times already and it only made it worse each time? She replied clutching the math book to her chest as her eyes scanned the hallway in case she needed to run or hide but it was too late. She felt someone shove her roughly into the nearest row of lockers.
?Good morning freak!? she heard and turned to see the vicious grin on the face of Jason Hollis. Lacey immediately stepped between the two of them.
?Leave her alone asshole!? Lacy yelled ?Go look for the two brain cells you usually have, you must've dropped them somewhere? Jason only laughed and pushing past Lacy he walked into the classroom. ?Are you okay?? Willow nodded but she could feel the bruise forming on her shoulder.
?Thanks? she mumbled but Lacy waved her off as she assessed the damage. ?I just wish he would leave me alone or better yet disappeared from the face of the earth so he can't hurt anybody else? As soon as she said that a shiver travelled down her spine for visibly no reason.
?Yeah I know? the bell rung ?I gotta go but I'll see you at lunch okay?? another nod and then Lacy was off leaving Willow alone to take one last deep breath before she walked into the classroom.
***
The weekend passed quicker than she would have liked but she enjoyed it, nevertheless. She went with Lacy to see the new horror movie that was in the cinemas, she bought a new book and spent some time with her mom. Ever since she got the necklace everything seemed to work out great and she dreaded the day she would have to give it back to its original owner but so far nobody claimed it. So, Willow kept it and never really took it off, she brushed off the occasional cold shivers, weird feelings of anticipation and the dreams she had nightly but couldn't remember them and just lived her life.
She was pleasantly surprised to realize that nobody bothered her when she arrived at school the next Monday and she didn't see Jason through the first and second periods. When she met with Lacy at lunch she said
?I think that Jason is sick or something, nobody bothered me all day?
?You haven't heard?? Lacy asked surprised
?Heard what??
?Jason is in the hospital? Willow raised her brow in surprise
?What happened??
?From What May told be supposedly she got bit by some sort of venomous spider during a hiking trip with his parents and now he's in a coma? Lacy explained ?And the rest of his pals got caught drunk driving the same day and all of them were sent to a correction school? Willow couldn't believe it.
?Will he survive??
?I don't know? A now familiar cold shiver run down Willows back. Something didn't seem right here but she couldn't quite place it. She instinctively grabbed the spider pendant on her neck and it hit her.
?Willow? Are you okay?? She heard Lacy ask.
?Yeah I just, I gotta get to class. See you tomorrow?
***
The remaining two classes she had passed in a blur, she was so deep in thought that even her teachers got concerned but she couldn't stop thinking. No, it's not possible, is it? Stuff like that only happens in books and movies. She thought could the necklace be protecting her. Because she was a naturally clumsy and unlucky person, always sick or injured from a minor accident but since she found that necklace she had about a dozen near misses that could have ended horribly but somehow she got out of those situations unharmed. Going back to that moments in her mind she noticed that every time she was in danger she felt a hand on her left shoulder either pulling her back or pushing her forward. Willow was not a sceptic but she wasn't a total believer in the supernatural either so the thought of something trapped in the necklace protecting her seemed bizarre but possible at the same time. There was only one way to test that theory.
Willow did not even bother to go home, she drove straight to the edge of the woods, dropping her backpack to the ground and running to the nearest cliff-like constructions that the forest was full of. Once she was there she assessed the drop, it wasn't high enough to kill her but it was high enough that if she jumped off of it she would definitely break a bone. So, taking a deep breath and laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation she prepared to jump when she felt a cold hand clasp around her wrist. When she turned around to see who stopped her she could not believe her eyes.
The creature was at least two feet tall and skinny, it had grey skin that was covered in something that looked like tattoos. Its face looked human-like but it was hollow, the eyes were black and its mouth and nose were covered with a black veil. It had some hair on the top of its head and a pair of wide stag antlers. Willow froze but for some reason, she was not scared, why would she be the creature who protected her after all. They looked each other in the eyes for a second and then she felt a slight tug on her wrist again and understood that the creature wanted her to step away from the cliff's edge.
?Oh yes, sorry,? she said and stepped closer to the creature looking back up at it. ?Who are you?? the creature stayed silent but let go of Willow's wrist. ?You can't speak?? the creature nodded. ?Okay. Can I ask a couple of questions anyway?? another nod. ?Are you protecting me?? The creature nodded ?Why are you protecting me?? a pale grey hand with long fingers pointed at the necklace that Willow suspected was the reason for the whole bizarre situation. ?Do you want me to set you free? Send you away?? this time the creature shook its head violently the antlers rustling some nearby branches. ?Okay! Okay, I won't send you away. I'll let you protect me? The creature calmed down visibly and slowly sat down on the ground so now it and Willow were face to face. ?If we're going to stay together I need you to promise me something? another rustle of leaves as the creature moved its head to the side in a questioning manner. ?If you are going to protect me and make people disappear I'd rather you not harm them physically if you can. Make them move out or do the thing you did with Jason's friends but I want Jason to wake up and his family suddenly decide that they should move out of town okay? I don't want to have people getting harmed on my conscience.? The creature hummed reluctantly in agreement. ?Good. Now what should I call you?? its grey shoulders moved in a shrug and Willow thought for a minute looking at the creature's antlers.
?I think I will call you Bambi?
High school: the land of stigma. The stereotypes run rampant, like racoons in in a landfill; it's a field day. Anyone and everything is fair game. There's Spider Mike who rides his Spider-bike, a ten-speed decked out to the T for Spiderman. Squishy is this girl who stepped or gum with her brand-new Vans, she only got the nickname cause she freaked out about it trying to pay Freddie Hawker to scrape it off. Pencil boy is Brady Guffaw, twin to the valedictorian, he can't seem to remember a pencil, ever, whether or purpose or by accident no one knows. Don't forget Diver Dan, a kid who got caught sifting through the garbage bins for his retainer freshman year, he's a senior now and even the new freshmen know his label. So, kids get associated with these behaviors and symbols, sometimes to no fault of their own other than an unfortunate scuffle with fate. Mine is whales.
Whale Raincoat Girl. Rachel Chattelson was gone, replaced by this freak. All because of this stupid coat. It's a thick rubber raincoat that's navy blue with green little whales all over. It has two drawstrings for the large hood and two pockets, one on each side of the button stretch. I wear it every single day. Why? I don't know.
All I know is I wake up and the coat is there, I go to bed and the coat is there. I get dressed and put the coat on. I shower and take it off, but once I'm toweled off, I put it back on. I wear a dress and the raincoat overtop. I wear jeans and a sweatshirt, and still the raincoat overtop. When I'm getting dressed, if even for just one second, I consider not putting it on I get sick to my stomach.
A wave a nausea just flows over me, and my knees go weak. The room starts to spin, and I regret everything I've ever done, sometimes I have to grab the bedpost. It's some sort of innate rule, cast by witches, warlocks, kings, emperors, magicians, or even God himself, I don't know. All I know is I follow it, no matter what it does to my social status.
I didn't used to be this way, but no one seemed to remember who I used to be, and honestly neither could I. I don't know what happened. My entire memory isn't gone. I remember being a kid: eating ice cream, hugging teddy bears, riding a bike, good stuff like that And I know my name, where I live, who my parents are, but one day it all goes black. I just don't know why. And for another unknown reason, I have zero desire to try and figure it out.
I just exist like this, adding the moronic rubber slicker to every outfit I pick out and going to school. This behavior, of course, attracted the attention of the high school sharks, earning me my new nickname. I'm not exactly sure how long it was before I realized the new norm wasn't always my norm, a month perhaps two. But I've accepted it. That's another rule: nothing bothers me, I don't care about anything, I don't even want to know what happened.
These whales follow me, and not just on the coat. On TV there's a nature documentary on the matriarchal societies of whales. The neighbor kid runs through the yard with his inflatable Shamu pool toy. At the dollar store there's a whale shaped succulent pot. The whales are everywhere, and so are the stares as I walk into the grocery store in the middle of July with my indifferent attitude, shorts, tank-top, and childish raincoat.
One night around 10:30 PM, however, that all changed.
We were sitting on the couch, that stupid documentary on the TV, me, Mom and Dad. Mom was playing Candy Crush on her cell phone, Dad was sort of watching sort of scrolling Facebook, while I stared blankly at the TV, not quiet absorbing the information, because, again, I don't care. Suddenly, Mom bolted upright.
?Oh my God.?
?What?? Dad sat up too, concerned.
?It was supposed to come today, in the mail.?
?Oh man, you're right.? Dad turned to me. ?Rachel, sweetie, would you mind going and bringing in the mail, please??
?Sure, whatever.? I stood up. The lighting flashed through the sliding glass door; it was raining. I was the obvious choice, since I had the idiotic raincoat on.
I made my way outside and crossed the street to the dark green mailbox. It was weird. Since I'd noticed the blackout in my memory, I hadn't actually been in the rain, even though I constantly had a slicker on. The sticky summer heat started steaming inside the coat, white camera flash lighting kept bubbling up the sky, the rain pitter pattered its percussionist rhythm on my coat, the coat was sticky, a car swooshed past in the rain, the rain got stronger plinking even more drops on my coat, the sticky coat I didn't even want to be wearing anymore, but the innate rule said I had to.
No.
At that moment, something else inside me snapped. Something stronger than the innate rule, it finally wanted to know why, why I had to wear this dumb thing at every possible moment. So, I quickly grabbed the mail from the box, tromped inside, plopped it on the kitchen table without a word, and I opened my eyes.
The answer was everywhere: the fourth chair at the dinner table that I didn't seem to notice anymore, the pink pair of converse sitting untouched on the shoe shelf, a closed door we didn't open, and worst of all, the pictures hanging on the wall.
It was like a switch. I'd turned the lights back on in my brain and suddenly I could see everything I didn't want to remember. Her smile, with rainbow braces, her hair, in two little blonde braids, her laugh, what a beautiful laugh, the kind that was infectious and pure. And she loved whales, not me.
Anna.
I stretched the soft A syllable of her name in my head. My sister, my baby sister who'd recently grown taller than me. And that day, that horrible day, when it rained, and she forgot her coat. I wouldn't turn around and go home, we were already late for school. She was throwing a fit in the passenger seat, going on and on about how I didn't understand how important it was and that I just didn't like her stupid coat. I looked over to retaliate, when the tractor pulled out in front of us. It was backing out of a driveway, trailer full of farming equipment towing behind. I saw it just a smidge too late and my brakes failed just a smidge too much.
Mom and Dad were sorting through the mail I had just brought in, oblivious to my presence. This weight came crashing down on me, this knowledge that I'd tried so hard not to want, not to know. It was suffocating. I tried to speak, my voice harsh and croaky, it barely came out a whisper. I tried again, stronger this time, but still weak.
?Mom. Dad.? They looked up. Tears started welling in my eyes, anguish obvious on my face. They saw it, they knew what was coming next. ?Anna.? I practically whispered.
They dropped the mail and came rushing to me. Four arms enveloped me like a storm of love. My knees gave out, but they had me. I was safe, I knew, as all that pain finally broke the surface tension of my repression. I could remember it all.
Everything. The day she was born, sharing goldfish from the county fair, fighting over the plastic princess plate at dinner, spray painting the neighbor's cat's tail, watching the same movie a hundred times, crushing on the same boy on summer vacation, disagreeing about the best ice cream flavor, braiding each other's hair. I even remember the day we went thrifting and she bought the whale raincoat. She had been so excited, it had whales, her favorite, and it was the perfect size. She joked that I'd better not steal it from her, since we could now share clothes, I promised I'd never do such a thing in a million years, hideous jacket.
But everything meant the bad stuff too. The blurry whir of sirens and hurried trip to the hospital. The confusion and terror when I couldn't find her. The frantic questions that no one seemed to answer directly. The nasty scar from my eye to my chin that I chose not to see in the mirror. The awful day when we all wore black and pretended the well-wishes made us feel better. The quiet days in the empty house. And finally, the day when something inside me broke and I put up the wall, blocking it all out, all of it.
As it came back, I cried, and my parents cried with me. As much as it hurt, it was so much worse knowing I had tried to forget all of it, even the good stuff. I felt guilty that I'd tried to erase my sister from my memory for the sake of my own pain. But together, with my parents I felt safe and comforted and loved. I knew whatever happened next, no matter how hard, I would always have the whales and with them I'd never forget Anna again.
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