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Mackenzie M. Hebner
It's easy not to realize how fortunate you were until what seemed like a burden slips away, and suddenly there's a hole you never realized had needed to be filled. It grows a little more as you sit there watching everything you had with a new light. This time there is a tick inside your mind, counting down the moments you have left with this fresh perspective, and you don't want to waste the moments hurting, but it's hard to feel any other way than a plain fool.
You see, it'd been a rough few years spent here. You saw a lot, learned a lot, hid a lot. And, as one naturally does, those locked away memories became attached to a place so as not to pin them on you where you'd be forced to reconcile with them. No, they stayed safely manifested in intricately crafted pillars of deep sienna engineering a building once called a home, then a trap, now a lost soul. You saw these walls as a forced interaction with the childhood you'd been told wasn't healthy, wasn't normal. (Though, frankly, who's is?) This home became associated with the pain of a past and a family and even a you you were happy to forget. You wanted a perfect picture?the problem with those being that everyone is posed, but that didn't seem to matter. The candid version was too messy?
So, at this rate, you figured when they said ?We're selling the house,? one of two things would come to pass. One, you'd be impressively unmoved and apathetic about the whole ordeal, or two, you'd be ecstatic that this chapter of your life would go on to make someone else smile and you'd never have to face it again?maybe you'd even help them find a buyer because you were so elated to be rid of this constant reminder always looming, and you were convinced that once it was sold everything that occurred inside those walls or around that time would simply cease to exist. Perhaps it sounds cheesy or irrational, but you were convinced. You really were, remember? But then something peculiar happened. And I'm assuming you've picked up on this by now, but it wasn't one or two. It was a third option that had not been factored in. You were sad.
You see, it was rather beautiful here, and there were all these memories and even though they weren't all necessarily uplifting, they were what made you you. And, if you didn't have the concrete place to come back to proving this chapter was a part of your life, how could you ever be certain it all really happened, and you weren't just making things up for the sake of a story? After all, you are a writer, it's not entirely crazy to believe you could concoct a decent tale of trial and triumph. Though, the triumph seemed to be the missing element here. Or, perhaps the triumph was in the sadness. In the realization that this land meant more than hurt, there was a certain peace you finally understood as you watched it in its final days. Or perhaps the triumph would be in letting go To find peace with a past that brought so much pain. But there is beauty from the agony, and if that is all you learned, perhaps it was all worth it
After all, haven't you picked up on the fact that the pain follows you around? It doesn't stay static in one place with more than four walls that make it feel like it goes on forever. No, the pain follows you wherever you go. You can't escape it. You can't ignore it. Sooner or later you have to face it or let it devour you. You see, you realize that whatever made you cry here, well it'd make you cry anywhere, cause that's just where you're at right now. And those girls that were mean to you, well they would've been mean even if you lived in a different house. In fact, your house probably did you good; it was the nicest on the block that's for sure. Remember how they'd all come over, transfixed by the microwave or in awe of the blended in dishwasher and pull-out trash can? Your house was legendary! But, you let it take the fall for them, for you. It wasn't its burden to bear, but you didn't give it the choice. You piled the weight on like it was your sole purpose in life. Because at times it was. You needed someone else to take the fall. Someone else to feel your pain. And so you made them, so you didn't have to be alone.
But are you really not alone if the only other being in the world to understand your pain is an inanimate one? It seemed to work for you. You just never reasoned with the reality that one day that object would no longer be there for you, and you'd have to find something else. Maybe even a new inanimate object, but new nonetheless. New could even be you. A time for you to finally face the hurt you spent years pawning off to someone, or rather something, else. So maybe this change would be good for you, just not in the way of one or two. But a chance to face the you you left behind ages ago. The you with scars and bumps and bruises you've been carrying around for far too long. After all, it's always better late than never, even if you're not yet entirely convinced.
You lived by the idea that scars and bruises heal with time, and you were right. But what happens when you keep letting the culprit of those scars and bruises back into your home? It might be years from the incident that instilled them, but everytime you push it down, you're choosing not to let it out of your house, and therefore it can keep on beating up those bruises and opening those scars so they can never heal. Not until the culprit is gone. And culprits don't just leave with time, not when they're still having so much fun. They have to be kicked out. But how do you do that while they still hold all the power? Well, my friend, it's time to get the power back. To let go of the house. To face the facts. It's time to embrace something new. A new you. Face the past, and let it go. Remember the memories, feel your injustices, and make peace with the time passed. They don't define you anymore, in fact, they never had to.
Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting. It simply means accepting what happened, recognizing it, and not giving it the power to define you anymore. Because it is what we refuse to forgive that goes on to define us. So then, the question becomes: who are you really? And finally: who do you want to be?
The story tells that King Oba had a beautiful and delicate daughter who represented everthing to her father, she had three suitors named; IKU, ARO and OFO. Everyday the Princess complained to her father that she couldn't decide which of the suitors to choose for a husband.
FOr Oba this represented a problem, he didn't want to generate conflicts and revenge because he was a man of peace, but time was of the essense and he knew that if he gave his daughter to one of the suitors the other two would seek revenge.
So as not to anger the life of his beloved daughter, Oba decided to become a dove so that he could perch himself on a leafy tree with multicolored flowers, which represented all the virtues that his reign enjoyed. Oba felt inmensely unhappy because of the problem that disturbed his thoughts.
That night while asleep he discovered the solution in a deep sleep.
He then issued a official statement tp his entire Kingdom, which said:
"Whoever brings me an Abani (Mystical animal) will marry my daughter." But in those days, the Abani were very rare and difficult to hunt.
Near the palace there lived a Sitiera (Ranch owner) who loved the Princess, and although he adored her in silence, he made the decision to hunt and capture the Abani. His one problem, he was always late for everything so he went to consult with Orula the wise soothsayer for advice, he thought to himself, it's "Better Late than Never."
The consultation resulted in IFA (Ifa was a Yoruba religion and a system of divination. So Orula told him he had to do and Ebbo (Cleansing) he had to get slugs, cascarilla (a white powder) a meringue and a white fabric and a stick about his size. Finally he recommended he go to the mountains to sing afterwards.
The Sitier did everything that the soothsayer entrusted to him and with a very melodious voice he sang in the mountains, and the echoes of his voice were enchanting.
IKU who was one of the suitors of the princess was walking near those paths with a bag and the Abani, requested by the Oba the King, and when he heard the attractive melody his bag with the Abani fell off his stick and he became petrified.
When the Sitier saw this, he took the opportunity to pick up the sack and took the Abani to Oba. He had to hurry before any of the other suitors appeared before the King. But he succeeded and was able to show Oba the Abani thanks to Orula the wise soothesayer's advice, his word never fails.
Oba was happy and said to the Sitier, "Better Late than Never."
This is how Oba was able to choose a good husband for his daughter.
So goes the story that by order of King Oba that Orula, Eshu and Oggun, IKU, ARO and OFO were now trapped without being able to do the happy couple any harm.
So after a beautiful wedding at the palace, it was decided by the Princess that she would go live with her husband on his farm, Oba was not too happy about it since someday his daughter would be Queen but for the time being he agreed and allowed them to live on the Sitiera's farm.
Five years have passed and there had been a pretty bad drought and the farm was not doing well, nothing was growing or dying. The Farmer didn't know what to do and then his wife said to him, Why don't we ask father for help or we can go back and live in the palace.
He thought about it but he was a proud man and said no to his wife. But the princess seeing her husband so upset and depressed,one day she told her husband she was going into town for a few groceries but, she was really going to see her father.
When she got to the palace her father was happy to see her but alas she was not happy. She told him the whole story and so Oba not liking to see his beautiful daughter suffering he said he would help but, she said it would have to be in a way that her husband wouldn't find out it was he helping them So...
It has always been said in the Yoruba religion that the pumpkin should not be eaten because it houses all the wealth in the world. In addition to that, this fruit has a close relationship to the Queen Oshun and Goddess of Love. So the young couples of Oba's Kingdom would make offerings and prayed for Prosperity and Love.
Oshun made the Pumpkin the first lamp which she cared for and protected pregnant women, it was also her piggy bank, it's ancestral meaning hides many secrets and that is why it is sacred and highly respected in the rules of the Yoruba Religion.
Oba knew this of Queen OShun and decided he would ask for her help.
He went to visit Oshun at her palace..
Here it will explain Oshun's relationship with this powerful fruit and wealth. Once there they sat having a cup of tea and he explains to her his daughter's dilema. So Oshun begins to tell him The beautiful Yoruba Legends tells that there was a time when the Orishas (Other kings and Queens) lived in sumptuous palaces full of wealth and flaunted their prosperity.
And even the God Olofin enjoyed the good and prosperous life and therfore every eight moons he gave a party and invited all the other Orishas and the people of the Kingdoms to celebrate with them. To all who came he gave gold coins and Jewels to increase their wealth.
Oba and Oshun go to visit the God Olofin who happend to be Oshun's father, the palace was getting ready for the big party. An official announcement was sent out to everyone in the Olofin's Kingdom.
Oba's daughter was walking in town one day with her husband and saw the announcement, the beautiful Princess said to her husband we should go to this party and he said, things are not going well we are living in misery even if we have our own Ranch, I don't want to visit Olofin's house because of our economic situation.
Olofin, aware of the couples situation, decided to change the way of giving gifts. I wouldn't give away any gold coins or Jewelry so they wouldn't be offended.
At the next Olofin's party to take place, all the guests were dressed as always in their new and best clothes and went up for the celebration.
But when the host received them, he gave each one, to their surprise a large pumpkin, which they should not reject as they could make Olofin very angry. When they came down from Olofin's Palace, they all commented that this time the God Olofin had not given them a gift worthy of their economic position. They were in that argument when they accidently crossed paths with Oba's Beautiful daughter the Princess and her husband
When they saw the couple, they all realized from their clothes, the very bad situation they were going through and for that reason they asked the couple if they had anything to eat, to which she answered no.
So they all decided to give the pumpkins that Olofin gave them to the couple so that they could use them to eat and thus get rid of the annoying gift.
The humble couple offered their thanks, because with that amount of pumpkins they would have food for good weather, and not have to worry about their bad luck. they also noticed the pumpkins were heavy, but they ignored it and went ahead with joy at the good food they would make.
When they put the pumpkins in their kitchen the princess told her husband she would make sweet pies with the fruit to enjoy like never before. With that said, he took the pumpkin in his hands and broke it. Thus he was in total suprise he discovered that the gourd was full of jewels and gold and also all the other ones that were given to them were also full of Jewels and Gold.
From that day forward they were suddenly the richest among all the people from that realm.
This was a lesson in humility, gratitude and simplicity for all those who despised a divine gift from the God Olofin. The Princess said to her husband, you see my love in the end everything worked out, and he replied it's "Better Late than Never"
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