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A young girl makes her way down a worn, paved street, the heat waves that radiate up from the dark pavement distorting her fragile image as she leaves the airport. She clutches a worn, black backpack to her side, dark eyes darting to and fro, lingering on nothing and yet everything as she processes the sight before her.
She has finally arrived in the city of her dreams, where her best friend and college lie together, yet... this was not what she was expecting.
A shaky breath is inhaled, a full bottom lip trembles, and she blinks rapidly as the heat and noise and buzz of the city overwhelm her while it becomes too much too much too much too much and then? relief.
A name is shouted across the crowds of people. Her name. The girl turns, and a flurry of blond curls and oversize sweaters, impossibly cool in the sticky heat, are embracing her, her skin becoming all the more clammy in the damp San Antonio heat.
The girl sighs a breath of relief, tucking a dark curl behind in her ear as the sorrow previously rising quickly in her gaze sinks back to wherever such a tragic sadness came from.
She's here. In the United States of America with her best friend for an entire four years, if all goes well. She lets out a satisfied sigh, along with a quick prayer for all to go as planned, and falls dramatically back onto the slightly worn quilt covering the queen sized bed in the guest room.
She takes a hot shower and changes into comfortable clothes, finally sitting down on the deep mahogany leather couch to scroll through whatever channels might be available on their televisions, when there's a loud, confident knock on the door. Expecting her friend, the girl opens it, but is surprised when there is a young man in her friend's place.
The man clears his throat, obviously surprised with her appearance, and speaks something in English, a hand nervously rubbing the back of his head, which holds a loose mop of chocolate hair.
The girl slowly realizes that things in her friend's world may not be as stable as she once thought.
The girl sighs, admiring the curves and dips of her friend's sleeping face, the blond curls framing the tan skin, the light freckles one could only see up close, the brush of her gold lashes against her sun-gilded skin.
She turns on the television, snuggling down into a soft blanket left on the couch, as she scrolls through the American channels for the second time that day.
A romantic comedy.
An action movie.
The comedic end to a television series
The girl settles on the news, not understanding the language, but understanding the images broadcasted to the country.
A man with deep dimples and a faintly strained smile begins covering the recent sports news, showing clips of the
The girl's last thoughts were not pleasant ones, as one's usually are not, recounting the drastic emotions she had felt all in several hours' time.
Sadness
Fear
Grief
Joy
Relief
Happiness
Jealousy
Horror
Acknowledgment
And so so many others.
She had felt
Dear Diary
Tasha, Age 15
Feb 2, 2016
Hello creeps, future boyfriends, or nosy parents (seriously mom stop). I wanted to start a diary and what better time is it now than on the first day I move in. We drove a long. long, long... you get the idea. All the way from the state of Oklahoma. At least back in Oklahoma we had the fresh air and a nice breeze but as soon as I got out of the car the LA air hit me by surprise. Still can not get used to it even though this is now my new home, yippie! I cant even lie its been in a way; Peculiar. But I got to say- got to go i'll write tomorrow.
Feb 9, 2016
Started school about a week ago, its a lot bigger than I thought it would be. especially when there is 3,000 students and back home there were only 200. Half of them were made up of livestock. I'm overwhelmed I can't even write. I have so much homework that I think I won't be able to see my desk. So many handwritten essays and projects.. THE PROJECTS! I can not even. I wish I was back home. I know I said I would give it time but that's up. I'm going to talk to my parents about it but that wont do me no good. Write to you later. Bye.
May 23, 2016
You know back in Oklahoma when I was scared, sad, lonely heck even overwhelmed I would go outside near a path of grass towards the shed and lay there. Without a worry and stare up at the sky, the stars. They were littered across the sky and it would consume me until I dozed off to sleep. Now I can not do that. My safe space is gone and now when I try I cant see any. Too many lights and there blinding. The music and cars and subways and the stupid airport is driving me nuts and I don't get much sleep anymore. Wish I was back home in Oklahoma.
Every time a plane goes by I think of Oklahoma, nothing like Oklahoma but it just comes back to me. The way my grandparents truck went up and down the dirt road through the trees when they would come and visit. Or when my dad would run with me through the fields, I was so small I just was absorbed by the crops. Could hide all day and no one could find me. I cant do that anymore, one way or another someone would find me and I will never find a quiet place. Only in this journal can I write in peace without a argument from across the way or all the car horns constantly going off. I'm lonely and I know im not alone. Out of all the things in this city I'm just a spec. A little peace of dirt in a field. A little drop in the sea. Once summer comes it might get better but lets be real. When is that ever going to happen. The thick air of dust and gas still lines the streets that you can almost cut it with a knife.
June 14, 2016
I finally made some friends and its going great. We went to a party last night a few blocks away and it was. What's a word for it, AWESOME! I can't even describe it but also over near it there were shops and fancy restaurants and everything. Its away from the airport and its in a nicer, cleaner neighborhood. I don't know why I wanted to move back. I'm going back out tonight, catch you guys later.
I know have a posse, that's weird to say "posse". I even started my own blog talking about where we eat and all the cool parties were going to have. makes me kind of want to through out this journal. I already have 13 thousand followers. I'm pretty sure 75% of them are creeps but the other 25% are people that want to know what life is here. If I looked at this when I first moved I would have laughed so hard. Why did we ever stay in Oklahoma when we did. Why didn't we move sooner. still miss the farm though, Grandad and Grandma to. Ill write back soon. Bye.
July 10, 2016
I met this amazing guy and were going up the coast this weekend. he's in his 20's but he's really nice. I know what my parents will say so that's why I am going to sneaking out...TONIGHT! Its going to be amazing and Ella says she knows him so its cool and not in a weird stranger danger vibe. I guess this is my "being stupid" or "rebellious years". Goodbye Oklahoma and hello California. See you guys later, tell you about the amazing parties and places we go. Than get grounded for a few years. I know I should not be doing this but I want to have fun this summer instead of being sad locked up in my room listening to those stupid planes take off. Mom, Dad, this will probably kill you but I want you guys I love you guys even if your over protective. I want you to know that. Even after I'm grounded ill never stop loving you even if I don't say it. Now I'm off to have some real fun, WOOOO!
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