Kamsi Okoye sat on his bed starring out the window. The night was cool and the moonlit To his left were his two elder twin brothers, Chinedu and Chukwuma sleeping on their respective beds. Kamsi rose from his bed and stretched. He was tall and had an athletic build. He moved around noiselessly in the dark, groping for the lamp that stood in the reading table in the room. His hand came across the button and he switched it on.
The light from the lamp bathed his entire face and made him squint instantly. A closer look at Kamsi told us he was light-skinned and had a bony face. You could see he was beginning to show signs of growing a beard and moustache. His eyes were light brown in colour and this added to his handsome features.
Kamsi and his twin sister, Osinachi were about to begin their final year at Hampstead, one of the most prestigious secondary schools in the country. Normally, on nights like this before returning to school, Kamsi usually slept soundly but this night was different. One thing had been on Kamsi's mind since the commencement of the two-month vacation and as each day had gone by, it made him more restless.
Kamsi wanted to become the Headboy but to do so, he would have to be chosen ahead of the smartest boys in his set. Most popular amongst the smartest boys was Seun Adebiyi. Seun possessed all the traits of a Headboy: he was good in four different sports, was among the top students in his class, and was loved by virtually all the teachers. He was Catholic as well and knew how to relate with all his classmates. The thought of these made Kamsi shudder and shake his head. He sat in a chair and leaned back. Kamsi too also possessed the very same traits Seun had.
Right from JS1, Kamsi strived to be among the best in his class when it came to academics and he equally excelled in sports, winning medals for both his house and his school in the past years. Deep down in him, Kamsi felt uneasy. Seun wasn't the only one who might be appointed to become Headboy. Hampstead College had another very brilliant student in the person of Eli Hunter.
Eli Hunter was a boy who hardly blew his trumpet but everyone knew what he was capable of. Eli was one of those few students in the history of Hampstead to win the Overall Best Student Award three times in a row from JS2 to SS1. Kamsi had come close previously but was bested by his Seun in SS2. Kamsi was eager to become Headboy but these two boys posed a threat to his ambition.
A wicked smile played over his face as the thought of kidnapping the two boys the following morning would solve the problem. The small voice in his head laughed drily and said ?fool.? Kamsi shrugged and smirked as he rose from the chair and headed for the door.
In the foyer, Kamsi moved quietly, avoiding pieces of furniture as he headed for the staircase. The staircase led right into the living room of the Okoyes. It was well-furnished with pictures of all members of the Okoye family: Mr and Mrs Okoye, Amarachi, Chinedu and Chukwuma the twins and then Kamsi and his twin sister, Osinachi. Kamsi found a pen lying on the sofa in the living room and smiled. He picked it up gently as though half-expecting someone to appear suddenly and accuse him of theft.
Once again, the voice in his head didn't hesitate to scold him. ?Now young man,' the voice began, ?does it make sense to you for you to be accused of stealing in your own house?'
This caused the boy to stifle a laugh and slip the pen into his pocket. Turning away from the sofa, he strolled leisurely into the kitchen and helped himself to two glasses of water. His mother, Mrs Okoye had always stressed on the importance of drinking water. As he set the glass cup down on the tray on the kitchen table, his mind raced back to four years ago when Amarachi had slumped at a playground as a result of dehydration. Since that day, his elder sister never joked about when it came to water. Kamsi put on a weak smile and strolled back towards the staircase, turning of the lights as he did so. He stubbed his toe on the first stair and moaned silently. He bit his lip as he prevented himself from raining curses on the staircase.
Back in his room, Kamsi slid back onto his bed and shut his eyes. He didn't fall asleep immediately as he would have done. He stayed with his eyes shut, thinking on what could transpire the following day at the Hampstead Hall. For one to become a Hampstead prefect, you had to be nominated. Three weeks prior to now, Mr Okoye had received a letter from the school's Principal, Dr Hassan saying that Kamsi and Osinachi had been nominated to become Prefects for the forthcoming academic year. Each post usually had two to three nominees and deep down in him, Kamsi wished the Headboy post would be his.
A few of his friends had also been nominated. Mayowa had phoned Kamsi and couldn't hide his excitement at being nominated for Prefect. Kamsi phoned his next-door neighbour, Seun but the latter was out of the country and hadn't told anyone when he would be returning home. Kamsi's best friend and roommate in school, Ekanem Ukpong was also nominated. His heart began to beat and he couldn't help but wonder why nearly all his friends had been nominated.
Hampstead had a reputation for producing the best students in the state in terms of academics and sports. It came as no surprise when Kamsi's sister, Amarachi took top spot in the yearly essay competition for senior school girls as well as second spot at the Chess Tournament. All members of the Okoye family knew how to play chess and hardly turned down a challenge. Kamsi couldn't help smiling as he recalled the time when Chinedu had checkmated Mr Okoye using a special move he had searched up on the internet.
Having promised his son his own share of meat, Mr Okoye had to forfeit the large chunk of chicken Mrs Okoye had dished for him during dinner putting a wide grin on Chinedu's face. Before Mr Okoye finally gave up his meat, Chinedu could do nothing but analyse how he had beaten his father at chess ? for the third time in his whole life. Osinachi had to put up with his storytelling as she sat alone with Chinedu in the family sitting room upstairs watching television with her elder brother.
Back to the present and Kamsi was gradually falling asleep. Within minutes, Kamsi was standing alone at the entrance of the Hampstead Hall, starring around at the sea of heads before him. The Headboy badge, polished and gleaming in the fluorescent light, was pinned to the breast pocket of his ironed black blazer and he smiled smugly.
He strode towards the platform at the other end of the hall, in between the neat rows of students. A couple of girls in his year and the year after them whistled as he strode by. He put on a silly lop-sided smile and jerked his chin in their direction. He winked at his girlfriend, who also happened to be the Headgirl for the academic year. The post of Headboy sure felt good.
Up on the platform, he cleared his throat and smoothened the cringe on his white school shirt. Below him, girls were all smiles and the boys beamed with delight. He was their idol, the one every student looked up to. He nodded his head as he drank in the view before him. To his left stood the teachers who were all smiling, except for the Vice Principal. Kamsi didn't care about her opinion of him, she never seemed to like anyone.
Kamsi took the microphone in his hand and switched it on gently.
?Hello.' His voice was soft and gentle but it resonated throughout the hall. ?Can everyone hear me?'
The sea of heads before him nodded in a single motion, while some girls whistled from the back.
?Good,' continued Kamsi, ?I the Headboy would like to welcome each and every one of you back to Hampstead. Before I continue with the announcements, I would like to thank the Principal as well as other members of staff for conferring the post of the Headboy upon me and I promise to dispense my duties as the Headboy as at and when called upon. Thank you.'
The whole hall stood in their feet and began to applaud him. Kamsi suppressed a wide smile and starred ahead of him. His gaze rested upon the Headgirl, a slim girl with the smile of an angel. She too was beaming at her boyfriend and she was clapping as well. Kamsi winked at her and she too blew him a kiss and returned the wink.
The next moment, Kamsi was standing in the Principal's office receiving dozens of instructions on what he was required to do. Kamsi had no idea what the big occasion was but one thing he was sure of was that all the instructions being dished out to were too much and irrelevant. He had a lot of personal activities planned for that day and didn't approve of anyone spoiling his day for him.
Dr Hassan never drew breath as he drooled on and on about ensuring the students were safe and how he had to go round daily for the inspection of the classrooms. At the sound of this, Kamsi leaned back in his chair and smirked at the Principal otherwise known as the Prince.
?Whoa,' remarked Kamsi knotting his eyebrows, ?let me get one thing straight. You're asking me to do daily inspection of all the classrooms in this school?'
?That is correct,' Dr Hassan said calmly. ?Do you by any chance have a problem with this in a way?'
Kamsi said nothing but looked round the neat spacious office for an object to throw at the Prince. He picked up a pen and examined it closely. He then looked up at the old man standing before him. ?It seems you are mad?'
Dr Hassan was taken aback. He leaned forward slightly to make sure he had heard what the boy said. ?I beg your pardon.'
?You heard me,' retorted Kamsi, ?do you want me to repeat my question?'
?That would be much appreciated, yes please,' said Dr Hassan.
Kamsi inhaled deeply and spoke softly. ?Are you mad?'
The Principal's eyes widen and his nostrils flared. ?How dare you?'
?Wait there, old man, just hold up for a second,' snapped Kamsi, ?have you lost your senses? Do you have any idea what you are asking me to do? For God's sake, I'm Headboy! This badge has helped me in more ways you can ever imagine.'
?It has helped you, you say?'
?Yes,' hissed Kamsi, his eyes burning with rage. ?It has helped me. You see Annabel Hunter in SS2, she likes me because of this.' Kamsi jabbed at his badge with his index finger and beat his chest. ?And she isn't the only one. All the girls like me because of this! All of them. And here you are, trying all you can to damage my reputation.' He pointed a finger at the Principal. ?You cannot do this!'
?What's your point, Mr Okoye?' Dr Hassan buttoned his coat and sat in his armchair facing Kamsi at an angle. He gazed at Kamsi with one eye fully open and the other half closed.
?What I'm trying to say,' Kamsi said, ?is I, the Headboy, cannot be turned into a laughing stock in the school. It cannot just happen.'
?You know, Mr Okoye,' said Dr Hassan calmly, his eyes fixed on Kamsi, ?you aren't making any sense at all.'
?That is because you aren't listening to me,' snarled Kamsi. ?Old age has caused you to think at a slower rate. If I had my ways, I would find a replacement for you as Principal.'
?Thank God you are a mere Headboy,' retorted the Principal. ?Now back to what I was saying earlier before you interrupted me---'
?Save it,' snapped Kamsi, ?I'm done listening to all your malarkey. Do me a favour and drown yourself in the lagoon.'
Kamsi got up and headed for the door. He stopped when the Principal addressed him with the same calm tone he always used.
?This duty I'm about to give you could earn you fifty thousand naira weekly.'
Kamsi's head nearly burst open with excitement. He ground to a halt with his left hand on the handle of the door. His eyes widened as he rounded on the Principal and starred at the Principal in utter amazement.
?Did you say fifty grand a week?' Kamsi advanced towards the Principal as though he wanted to strike. The other didn't seem frightened.
Dr Hassan merely nodded and put on a wide smile. ?You heard what I said. This job, more like a duty, could earn you about fifty grand weekly.'
Kamsi sighed and dropped his head. ?See man,' began Kamsi as he passed his palm over his nose now raising his head, ?I'm truly sorry we got our little chat of on the wrong foot. All the things I said back there were just banter, you feel me? I am ready to begin work immediately.' Kamsi sat in the armchair facing Dr Hassan and grinned inanely. ?What was it you wanted me to do for you, sir?'
Dr Hassan smiled as well and nodded. ?Now we are talking, boy. Would you care for some brandy?'
Kamsi threw the Principal a thumbs-up. ?You're the boss, Doc. Let the groove begin.'
Within seconds, Kamsi and Dr Hassan were sipping brandy from their glass cups and cracking silly jokes. Kamsi laughed as Dr Hassan made a comment on how ugly the Vice Principal was. Kamsi was so delighted he stretched out his hand and the Principal shook it vigorously.
?How's your girlfriend by the way?' Dr Hassan inquired as he snapped his lips. ?How's she dealing with the abortion?'
?Oh she,' snapped Kamsi, already half drunk, ?she's doing just fine. Let her be. See, I've got another girl lined up for this weekend. It's going to be rocking. I was wondering if I could borrow your ride for the weekend. My buddies and I need to get a feel of the town.'
?That's not a problem at all,' laughed Dr Hassan as he smoked on a cigar. He threw his head back and blew smoke into the air. ?You can take my Bentley or the Chrysler if you want. Feel free to do whatever, mate. You only live once.'
At this, both boy and man let out long bouts of laughter and exchanged handshakes. Kamsi beckoned to the Principal to pass him the bottle of brandy and this the Principal did without second thoughts. Kamsi placed down his cup and began drinking from the bottle. Within seconds, he had downed the bottle of brandy and belched loudly. Dr Hassan cracked up and he too began to belch.
The weather was cold as always but I kept finding it hard to care about my body now, I can't say I have insomnia but sometimes I find it hard to fall asleep with this crazy secret hanging over my head.
Sleep had left me for so many nights and I find myself always looking out the window imagining maybe just maybe if my secret was revealed it won't render me homeless, penniless, friendless, and without a family.
Yes, my secret is not that I committed murder or got someone pregnant, my secrets sound pretty trivial compared to the consequences that come after it is revealed.
My name is Oscar Simmons, caramel clear skin, chubby-cheeked, black curly hair I most keep in an afro, bright blue eyes I got from my mom.
I might sound like a narcissist and probably vain but I am dark and proud, I just have an issue with growing beards like it seemed to have skipped my line of inheritance so I am hairless body-wise.
Back to my secret, when I was younger my family which consists of two older brothers Alexander being the oldest, and Jamal the middle child, me the last child, and then my parents always had a family night where we watched movies play games and sometimes tell crazy stories.
During one of these nights, my mom decided to pick the movie we were going to watch which was related to shoemaking. kinky boots.
I was just 10 and it fascinated me when I watched the movie, After his father's demise, Charlie Price (the main character) inherits the family business, a shoe factory in Northampton, England. He is not interested in shoes, and the factory is in such dire financial straits that he must lay off 15 employees.
However, a fortuitous encounter with a transvestite cabaret singer (the support character) inspires Charlie to save the factory from closure by producing erotic footwear, much to the chagrin of the workers. The transvestite cabaret singer fascinated me beyond belief.
I remember hearing my father scuffed.
"Oh please this is just another way to destroy the younger generation" I listened quietly as my mom had given him a response.
"Oh Gerrard stop these judgemental remarks of yours it's not like you understand their feelings or something ". my older brother who seemed to be closer to my dad looked at my mom then spoke words that rendered her speechless.
"Mom dad is right, they just want to deceive the younger generation into believing that wearing a woman's clothes as a man is a normal thing".
"What if one of our kids comes out to you saying they are gay or transvestite, then what would you do?" She asked.
My father looked at the three of us and said in the calmest and scariest voice.
"None of my sons would ever be an abomination because it doesn't run in our blood and if any of them makes that mistake of saying he is one then he should be ready to die by my hands"
"Gerrard stop spurting things like this do you know that killing is a sin"
My mom told all of us to go to bed and through the night they argued.
Then I didn't put much thought into his words because being straight runs in our blood means I can never be gay then.
I first found out about my sexuality when I was 13 and my best friend then kissed me during an excursion in the toilet.
I didn't hate it but I became scared of my family, my father's words were like a mantra that kept reminding me to not indulge in being the real me.
when my best friend and I got to sophomore year in high school, he told me he was gay and was ready to show it without a care only for a week later he looked lifeless and broken.
I was worried about him but he never said anything about what was wrong with him till one day we didn't go to prom and I stayed over at his house since his parents travelled.
"Ossy I want to run away" he whispers.
"Why?"
" I can't stay in a place that I could die at any given minute" he sniffed then I noticed he was in tears, all the emotions he had bottled in broke out and he told me that when he made up his mind to come out his cousin was caught kissing a boy and he was beheaded before the family.
He said his parents had invited every member of the family and he couldn't even help his younger cousin.
"I can't be here anymore or I swear I would be the next victim"
I was shaking in fear because I knew if I get exposed then I am dead.
"Where will you go?" I asked
"Away from here and Ossy please do not stay too long hiding or you just might suffer the same fate" with these words he packed all he could and broke his piggy banks and showed me his bus ticket out of the state.
I knew he was right so I didn't stop him and I pretended not to know about his running away.
After months of searching for him they declared him dead without his body found, people went to the funeral but I refused to go and people believed I was grieving.
I stop being playful, always avoided staying together in the same room with my family. I don't drink so that I don't reveal too much of my true nature.
My mom became worried about me but my dad said I was just being a teenager and that I would outgrow it like my older siblings.
After the burial, my mom started acting weird that I was worried maybe something had happened she always found a reason to invite me out. one of these weird days she dragged me along with her to get some groceries when my dad and older brothers were busy being their toxic masculine selves.
when we got to our destination she ignored the grocery shop and dragged me to get her nice clothes according to her.
"Ossy, how does this look on me?"
she stood in front of me with a green bodycon gown and black boots heels, twirling around in it. it fitted her body well, but I felt like I would be better worn with brown sandal heels and maybe a small brown bag would fit it.
"oh mom it looks great on you maybe change the kneel high boots with brown sandal heels" she smiles then winked at me then went off to change.
That day when we got home she told me to keep the five dresses she picked and some makeup products she bought using my skin to try the foundation shade.
I stared at her weirdly but she ignored me, I dropped them at the back of my wardrobe. I felt the urge to try them on since they looked like they could fit me perfectly.
She kept buying clothes she won't wear for a month but kept them in my room giving the same excuse.
"I want to surprise your father during our dates"
my wardrobe was now almost filled with female clothes and she also installed locks in my room saying I would need my privacy. I didn't understand my mom nor her intentions but I didn't complain.
one day, while everyone was out of the house leaving me behind. I was bored not doing anything when suddenly I remembered the clothes in my wardrobe maybe I could just try it a little then look up how to use makeup on my face.
that was my downfall.
I couldn't stop once I started. I lock my door then play my rap music to the loudest and begin my parade in front of the full-length mirror mom bought and had placed in my room.
she never stopped buying new clothes and keeping them in my room without asking for them, I started suspecting she knew I wore them but she never said anything to me about it.
it's been a year and a half since my best friend ran away and since I knew about my love for cross-dressing, I always hope that he is fine and eating well.
That afternoon before graduation, I dressed up in the new clothes mom bought and left in my wardroom. nobody was home and I forgot to lock my room door then began to dress up. when I was done, I wore the wig after my makeup was done.
I took some pictures then suddenly I heard Jamal asking if I was home, it was then I remembered I hadn't locked the door so I rushed to lock the door before responding to his call.
Graduation is tomorrow and tomorrow is the day I out myself and run for my life, I saved enough to get an apartment and feed myself.
I had saved about 5000$ by working part-time jobs for the whole year and a half.
You might wonder how many jobs I have done. Well, I worked as a waiter in hotels and restaurants, I worked at a spa where I got paid better than the other jobs 100$ monthly and tips ranging from 20-100$ from customers.
I have packed up my belongings, clothes, passport and id, laptop, and phone then the documents I need to enrol on college.
I just left behind my old things so that they won't notice I had escaped them.
Knock! Knock!
The soft knocking woke me from my thoughts, it was past midnight and who could come to my room at this time.
"Ossy baby boy?" My mom's soft voice came from behind the door, I rushed to push my box under the bed then I open the door.
She looked behind her to see that no one was awake before walking into the room then locking the door.
"Hey baby, I can't remember the last time you let me into your room"
She said with a smile as she pushed my hair away from my face.
" Mom, why aren't you asleep yet?" I asked as she smiled at me sadly.
"I can't sleep" She paused as if contemplating deeply before she spoke again.
"Do you have something to tell me Ossy" her stare was deep and sad. I felt a pinch in my heart, oh no mothers and their emotional blackmail. I shook my head instead of responding verbally.
"Ossy I know you to know what you are hiding " She turns off the light and opened my bay window then she sat down also telling me to seat beside her.
"I will trade a secret of me in exchange for a secret with yours, what do you think?" She kept whispering and I nodded.
"Okay your dad and I divorced a few days ago but he said I should keep the reason a secret but I can't anymore" She explained to me that he had been cheating for some time and she was only still married to him because she wanted me to leave high school first.
I was shocked speechless but she decided to continue then what she revealed last blew my mind.
"I am not your older siblings mom they are from some of the women he cheated on me with"
She then let everything sink in before smiling at me then asked what I was hiding.
"I will still love you no matter what" She held my hand and rubbed my cheek with an encouraging smile.
I was too scared to say anything but I knew I had to face it since I had already packed everything that belongs to me in this house.
"I am gay" I whispered with my eyes closed rightly I do not want to see her disgust or hate.
It was quiet for a while I couldn't stand the silence so I opened my eyes to look at her.
The moon softly lightens up her skin, instead of anger, I saw sadness and tears rolled down her eyes.
"I'm sorry mom"
"Oh my poor Ossy has suffered, oh how I wish I was able to lessen your pain and fears" She pulled me into a tight hug then kept rubbing my back.
I was shocked at her reaction so I was slow to respond to her hug.
"I knew it, we need to leave here tonight," She said after a while of crying. I was confused.
"Tomorrow is my graduation mom"
" shh, we leave tonight for your safety, pack up all your gadgets into your backpack and forget to take your clothes" She instructed then suddenly we heard footfalls coming towards my room and the shadow stood there for a while as if trying to hear us.
My mum signalled that I should stay very quiet, the shadow belonged to my father.
What is going on?.
After about 20 or so minutes he left so my mom quickly whispers.
"We are following the back through your window before he comes back."
This was when I noticed she held her purse in her hand and running shoes on.
Following her lead, we climbed slowly down and once our feet touched the floor she pulled me towards the car about a block away.
Just behind us, we heard a bang and shouting.
"Get back here you fag" it was my father's voice but mother pushed me into the car and the keys were already placed in the ignition and she immediately started the car.
We could hear gunshots as we drove away, my heart was still pounding widely as I looked at my mom in shock.
"He found out from your stepbrother Jamal this morning and he didn't tell me but I heard them when they thought I was asleep," She said not taking her eyes off the road.
I was scared of telling her and now she saved me, so there was no how I would have graduated because he was planning to end me before dawn.
"Where are we going? " I asked once I had calmed down.
"As far away from here as possible, I have a house I purchased a year and a half ago in New York "
Does my mom see the future or what?
"Remember Tony Mendoza" She continues, my best friend why would I not remember him.
"He is the one taking care of the house, yes I was the one who helped him run away. He had explained what had happened to me so I didn't tell anyone and just helped him that's why during that time I travelled. So he is waiting for you"
Her words shocked me and made me excited.
I guess I now have a family and a future.
We drove away from our past and into our future.
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