Thursday, 14 October 2021

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Three commercial astronauts sit ready in the simulator standing by for the final launch sequence one last time before tomorrow's big show. They're among the first who are supposed to be making regular trips to and from nearby asteroid mining space-rigs. They set the bar for all future efforts.

 

The simulator is an exact replica of the real thing. Command can see the astronauts in their seats on a monitor, face shields down and ready to rumble. The rest of the essential crew of engineers, coders, traffic control and operators can hear the interactions between command and crew. The flight crew, in their stations, cannot hear all of the rest of the conversations.

 

?Alright crew. We're about set for the final countdown to launch Over.?

 

?Roger that. Hey, Carlos? Over.?

 

?Yeah, Andie. Over.?

 

?How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep? Over,? Andie asks

 

?Lemme ask your mom. Over,? Quips Carlos

 

A series of giggles that roll into waves of laughter are heard in the hot mics. Andie, Terry and Shannon all have a hearty belly laugh as their shoulders and chests can be seen moving on the monitor with their laughter.

 

Still giggling, ?C'mon, Carlos! You ROCKET! Over.?

 

Carlos is supposed to be the calm one on the radio. Like a 9-11 dispatcher. It's his voice the crew relies on in emergencies and even he's struggling to keep a straight face and remain professional.

 

?Is everyone ready, now? It's not like you're leaving the planet tomorrow, or anything important like that. Over.?

 

?Yes s? Hey. Hey. I have a really stupid one I love,? Shannon interrupts Andie's reply with his distinctively deep Manilow-esque voice. Everyone in command always ribs him about it.

 

?How do you introduce a hamburger to a hot dog?? Without waiting for a reply he continued, ?Patty. Meet Frank! Over.?

 

Dead air.

 

Everyone working on tomorrow's launch paused what they were doing for a moment. A lengthy couple synchronized seconds later faces turned upwards into grins and a raucous laughter erupted all over the scientifically professional buildings.

 

?Do you think we got him?? Shannon could be heard amongst the laughs on board. Andie had to lift her face shield to wipe away the tears.

 

On the security monitors of the rest of the facility, Carlos is able to see how much everyone is enjoying this particular exchange after months of seriousness. This should be a serious exercise. If word got out, the investors may not be so lighthearted about it all. On the other hand, this sure beats uncomfortable tension.

 

Rubbing his forehead and shaking his head with a big dumb smile Carlos calmly responds, ?Everyone thinks you're a real riot, but me. Resuming countdown. Ten. Over.?

 

?Knock. Knock. Over.? more giggling is heard from the professional astronauts in the expensive simulator.

 

?We're still doing this, huh? Over.?

 

Barely able to breathe through the contagious laughing Terry gasps back, ?Everyone else told theirs! Say it! Over.?

 

?Who's there? Nine. Over.?

 

?Joe. Over.?

 

?Joe who? Eight. Over.?

 

Heavy breathing, laughter and weird sounds come from the simulator as the Astronaut crew cannot contain their mirth. All shields are now up, ?JOE MAMA! Bwaahaha? *gasp* ?Over!?

 

Most of what is now coming through is a lot of noise. Who is saying what is no longer intelligible.

 

?Seven! Why doesn't Six trust Seven?? someone, maybe Shannon, squealed into their mic.

 

The laughter around the whole place is now utterly uncontrolled. Eyes are watering and dumb jokes are around every corner. This light mood was needed last week. Not the day before they take off! This is supposed to be the dress rehearsal! Somber, you know, like they're leaving tomorrow.

 

Carlos is standing with his back to the monitor of laughing astronauts calmly, with a grin, taking in the scene of support staff equally in hysterics.

 

?Seven ATE nine!? a chuckling voice announced from somewhere.

 

?Did seven eat nine? You have the entire crew rolling over here. Over.?

 

The crew is entirely beside themselves. Once this level of laughter is released there is no containing it until it has run its course.

 

Finally, succumbing to the pressure of either the moment or the laughter, Carlos lets loose. Really, he just can't even any more. The big show is tomorrow whether we get this simulation right or not.

 

?What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Over.?

 

?Carlos?! Is that you! Have you come to the dark side?! Over.? Andie asks between calming chuckles.

 

?Finding half a worm. Over.?

 

?Gross! Over.? Everyone on their still hot mics has a fresh round of inspiration for jokes and the happy chatter of pun exchanges renews.

 

?You've just about laughed us all out of a job today. Tomorrow is the real deal. You better be ready and hoping our investors didn't catch wind of this. Over. ? Carlos began scolding as he realized nothing at all was actually going to get done today.

 

?It's a joke. Over.? said Terry.

 

?Not a dick! Over.? Shannon chimed in.

 

?Don't take it so hard! Over.? finished Andie.

 

The place lit up again at Carlos's expense and he turned off the public communications.

 

?Get psyche in after the crew. I'm sure they're cool but tomorrow is launch and I can't have them losing it when they get into Saturn's orbit.? Carlos directed the medical team.

 

?Cabrons?? he mutters in Spanish as he shuts down the failed simulation because of a case of the giggles.

 

In case you were wondering, our crew of comics made a very successful first space-rig run to an asteroid mine off one of the moons of Saturn. They delivered their supplies and successfully returned with a load of platinum. Making their investors infinitely more wealthy.

 

Their trailblazing mission in round-trip travel so far into space launched a boom for interstellar mining and encouraged the spread of human colonies well into our immediate solar system.

 

Shannon, with his baritone vocal chords asked upon leaving Earth's atmosphere, ?How do you  throw a party in space? Over.?

 

?You actually don't have to say over. Over.?

 

?You PLANET!?

 

     Never in my life did I ever expect to find myself in the state of Arizona, especially being a girl from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I've always had a kindred spirit and a yearning to travel, but little time or resources to do so. Therefore, I have not embarked much further from the City of Brotherly Love except for an impromptu trip to North Carolina a few years ago and my family adventures into New York City and the Jersey Shore when I was younger.  So when my fiance and I radically decided to jump on my first ever plane ride to Arizona with only a day's notice, I didn't think the people there would quite "get" me.  That flight led us to the quaint, yet whimsical  town of Bisbee.  See, I describe myself as "a little hippy, a little hood".  I am from Philly after all, so that's where the "hood" part of me comes from.  The "hippy" part, I'm told it's in my soul.  I am a horse of a different color, so to say, no doubt about that!      

      My fiance had told me all about the little town of Bisbee, Arizona about a year prior to all of this happening. He used to live fairly close a few years ago to help take care of his Aunt who suffers from Alzheimer's Disease. I was told that I would absolutely love it there and that I would fit right in. From seeing pictures, I could agree that my "hippy" side would be drawn to such a charming town. If the "hood" side was revealed, I'm pretty sure I would be exiled! After all, even the people from Philly could NOT handle my "Philly attitude", so how is this place supposed to?! I was about to find out. Lucky for me, and everyone sitting in my general vicinity, I was too distracted by the fact that this all was happening that I didn't even have time to have an actual panic attack. I guess that was one of the benefits of jumping on a last minute flight across the entire United States. You always have to look for that silver lining because everything happens for a reason. 

     The plane ride there was probably the coolest thing I've experienced in my life. I had never flown anywhere before. I wasn't nervous at all though. I was probably way too overly excited for the other passengers, but what's the point of life if you can't enjoy it, right? Besides, have you ever been on an airplane around Christmas?! It is one of the prettiest sights you will ever see. I highly recommend everyone does this at least once in their lifetime. I took the natural, breathtakingly beautiful experience as a sign that maybe this trip wouldn't be so bad after all. Maybe, I should let go of my anxieties and believe that a greater power will guide us through this trip. However, the unknown has always been an issue for me. Nonetheless, I was on a plane headed to Arizona regardless of my feelings about the uncertainty of what will be.

      To my surprise entering Bisbee, I felt a sense of calmness come over me.  Looking at the people in this small town, I could tell they weren't at all like any I've ever met before.  Those in which society would call "bums" were the most accepting of all!  We encountered many wonderful souls in this old, historic town; an old spirit, "Eyepatch Dave", another free spirit (whom I cannot recall his name), a heartwarmingly friendly, elder, homeless couple, and a lovely, older woman who offered us fresh fruit and vegetables free of charge.  The kindness of these so-called "vagrants" in this town was relieving.  Definitely not something you see in my neck of the woods.  That's for sure!

      There was one man that I saw while entering this so-called haunted town that I was drawn to immediately.  He was the first person I saw there and greeted me with a huge smile in exchange to my head nod.  There was something different about this vibrant, yet gentle, vagabond.  I just couldn't put my finger on what it was yet.  However,  I was determined to find out.  I was so intrigued by this man that I even made my fiance inquisitive too.  We just had to know more about him. 

      Throughout our time in Bisbee, we continuously crossed paths with this man.  Every time he had a new, eccentric vibe; a makeshift walking stick, a homemade "crown of thorns", a painting of Jesus hanging from his back, or he would be wearing a priest's collar.  He would also "Bless" us during every encounter and even performed a little dance for us in the city park.  I believe he has a lot to teach people.  Almost like a modern day prophet.  Funny, all my life I was taught about a prophet who walked the Earth among us many, many years ago.  They called Him Jesus.  Jesus Christ is what He is most referred to as.  Now this may sound a bit absurd, but could this be the Bisbee Jesus?  If Jesus is among us again, this man may just be Him. After all, who are we to say it's not?!

      In this crazy, COVID infested world, it's nice to believe in something besides all the bad.  The Bisbee Jesus gave me that credence that I desperately needed.  He also made being across the country from everyone we know and love a little less stressful.  Being away from everyone and everything you know, except one person, is extremely stressful during the holiday season with Christmas about a week away.  Christmas Day is the celebration of the birth of Jesus.  Well, that's quite coincidental...or is it?  

      We are told Jesus is everywhere.  If He is among us once again, it would make sense.  The way the world is going, He could "show up" at any time, right?  They say it's happened before.  Today's society, riddled by unrest and uncertainty, could use a symbol of hope to light the way.  Maybe it's the time of the year that made me believe there's more than mental illness in this man, or maybe, just maybe, Jesus lives in Bisbee, Arizona.

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